#522 | Fitness Can Be Scary... Here's Why It's So Important for Mental Health

The scariest part of fitness is never the workout. It's the story in your head before you even start. In this episode, we unpack why fitness feels so intimidating for so many people and why it's one of the most powerful tools for mental health that exists. From Bianca's fitness journey that began in self-hatred, crash diets, and toxic yo-yo cycles before becoming one of the things she's most proud of, to Emilia learning to work with her body instead of against it, this conversation gets honest about the destructive narratives, taboo body relationships, and quiet fears that keep people from ever starting.

We also dig into a wake-up call moment at the gym that sparked a deeper conversation about what our bodies reveal about our minds, the vicious cycle of eroding self-trust through maladaptive coping, and why "scary" evolves at every stage of life, from entry-point fear to injury fear to losing muscle mass in your 50s and 60s. Whether your version of fitness is strength training, yoga, hiking, or silent disco, you hold the pen of what fitness means for you, and your mental health will thank you for writing that story.

Here's a related episode that builds on today's conversation:
#474 | Why Poor Decisions Get All the Hype - https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/evolve-ventures/id1511831621?i=1000747149581

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🤝 Out of the Mud (OOTM) - "The Difference Between Avoidance and Self-Protection" - https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/IykObX8eR7ixJaQ-qqZogw#/registration

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🌱 The #YouDoYou Therapy Program gives you support when and how you need it. No pressure. Just real help. Start your free 7-day trial today - https://buy.stripe.com/fZe8Avdfx8bW9gcfZc

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Show notes:
 (0:00) Intro
 (2:28) How fitness brought Emilia and Bianca together
 (4:07) Starting fitness from self-hatred, not self-love
 (6:38) Your body is your most important asset
 (8:12) Why our relationship with our bodies feels taboo
 (10:11) A wake-up call at the gym
 (13:01) Bree reflects on her incredible journey as a member of the Evolve Ventures team
 (13:34) Breaking the vicious cycle of self-hatred and fitness
 (15:49) Learning to work with your body, not against it
 (17:46) Fitness touches every area of your life
 (21:36) What "scary" looks like at every stage
 (24:36) You hold the pen of your fitness story
 (28:32) Outro

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Transcript

Bianca Thomas
(0:00) I sent Emilia a bunch of fitness photos and videos from back in the day. Oh my lanta, it was a blast from the past and I cannot wait to dive into it in this episode.

Emilia Smith
(0:12) If you are someone who is struggling with your mental health, well, let's just say fitness might be your toe in to a whole better world. Join us in this episode where we talk about that.

Bianca Thomas
(0:27) Most of us are looking for hope, answers to the madness, certainty that we'll be okay, and someone safe to help guide us through the most challenging parts of our lives. In a world that's changing and evolving every single day where chaos, uncertainty, and cycles we never chose wreak havoc on our lives, it's easy to feel lost, hopeless, and scared of what the future will hold.

Emilia Smith
(0:54) Evolve Ventures is here to provide that hope, direction, and data-driven strategies to growth-minded human beings just like you every Monday and Thursday where each new episode is filled with vulnerable stories, interesting lessons, and simple tools you can use that will help you evolve into the person you were always meant to be. My name is Emilia. And I'm Bianca. And as the co-founders of Evolve Ventures, we are so grateful to be a part of your evolution. Let's get into it.

Emilia Smith
(1:24) Evolvers. It's Emilia. And today for episode number 522, fitness can be scary. Here's why it's so important for mental health. We, as fitness lovers, are going to make sure that we share what, as an Evolver, we do to maintain exceptional mental health. And we invite you to consider what your own fitness journey can be to improve your mental health. So, Bianca, do talk to me. What did you send me today? For the people in the back who didn't hear what you said at the very beginning.

Bianca Thomas
(2:08) for the people who are never gonna see the light of day of those videos videos are never gonna leave the archives yeah so Emilia

Emilia Smith
(2:19) Let's hope not. All right, P, if they do.

Bianca Thomas
(2:26) they do I'm deleting my social media no I'm so you and I met doing fitness we met when we were both trying to become ninja assassins you succeeded I stopped doing it before I got to that point had started the Why Power podcast that turned into of Evolve Ventures the to was just not aligned anymore but it was a really beautiful entryway into all of this and that never would have happened had you and I allowed the really destructive narratives that are out there about women and fitness that women are not to be fit be a size double zero take up no space and not be alive for lack of a better phrase

Emilia Smith
(3:33) It's brutal. Yeah.

Bianca Thomas
(3:34) we really leaned into just into that journey I'm not I don't know what your journey was regarding like fitness body image all of that stuff I know we've kind of talked about it but I'm not going to pretend like I know the full story for you but I do know that for me fitness was it wasn't to get started in that and the reason being was because starting my fitness journey didn't come from self-love it came from hatred from hating myself and unfortunately that's where most people start fitness is something that they have to do they're not good enough they're not beautiful enough they're not skinny enough they're not smart enough they're not anything enough regarding their physical appearance their body shape so on and so forth and it makes it a very terrifying endeavor for men and women we've heard both sides of the gender spectrum into that and kind of expressing and explaining that so when I first started my fitness journey I did everything wrong crash diet imaginable very toxic maladaptive harmful fitness and like exercise behaviors doing all of the yo-yo diets and whatever and it never ended up working about the time that you and I had met I was in a relatively progressed stage of my fitness journey I was doing like fitness coaching modeling at that time I thought I was going to be um a fitness coach and like maintain that and then

Emilia Smith
(5:41) Mm-hmm.

Bianca Thomas
(5:41) started everything that we did but something that started off as this really dark destructive path for me became honestly the thing one of the things that I am the most grateful for and proud of when it comes to me who I am and it led me to you and it led us to here so

Emilia Smith
(6:06) Mm.

Bianca Thomas
(6:07) unbelievably grateful for it but unfortunately not everybody has that story for many people it's just this very scary intimidating very shameful thing that is meant to be avoided at all costs that's important for us to really dive into that and why is it so important from a mental health perspective to lean into that

Emilia Smith
(6:38) Yeah, and I'm super grateful that my fitness journey led me to you. And I think, you know, I know that you and I came from different starting points, for lack of better words, and have evolved in our own fitness journeys, and I'm so grateful, you know, in this moment, to be able to talk with another woman who has a very similar North Star, if you will, and can look at fitness from the vantage point that you and I do currently. So, for anyone that's not familiar with what that kind of is, if obviously not speaking on just for you, but I know that you and I share a love for fitness, not only because of how it's helped us evolve in our own journeys, but also, like, we care so deeply about being the best version of ourselves, and you literally can't do that if your physical fitness is not a part of that equation, because we live in this vessel. And I always loved how Alan had mentioned more people take care of their cars and their houses better than their bodies, and yet this is the most important asset we live in every single day, and I share that so deeply, and as do you, right? Our muscle is an investment account, and it pays dividends long-term. You and I are focused on longevity. But most importantly, in my perspective, the fitness journey, no matter what it is, it's really scary for a lot of people. What I've observed is because we have such taboo relationships with our bodies, whether it be self-image or the body that we were born into, we don't like it, or it maybe, let's say, has taken us on a journey that's led to medical trauma, right? Or eating disorders, or it's not, quote-unquote, "worked in the way in which you wanted it to," because maybe you have a physical exceptionality, or whatever the case must be for anyone that is joining this episode. I think that it's important to acknowledge what fear or what fright or what terror you've had in this journey, because, at least from my perspective, not having a fitness journey or something that you deeply have found to resonate with you, be it horseback riding, or be it yoga, or be it fencing, or be it tennis or cricket, shout out to you, Isaac. There's something for everyone to be fit, and in order to have and cultivate, and it's not just like a one-and-done great mental health, physical fitness is directly connected to our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. And so, when you can find people that are also on a fitness journey while navigating your own evolved journey, it is so much even more better than you can imagine, because you can share similar core values. Bianca, you and I can, you know, those videos are laughing looking back at strength training. And one of the videos that I haven't watched yet that you sent me was of me doing, it was a squat with, I think I saw two 45s on either side. And this morning, I was at the gym doing leg day to a couple of things, then I'll give a little bit of my backstory. I was doing squats this morning. I woke up with a little bit of a tinge and knee pain due to where I am in my menstrual cycle, not anything having to do with injuries or anything like that. I'm very fortunate to not have had any injuries and any pain in my body, but I was very careful about my squat and my form and my breath work while I was doing that. And while Alan and I were doing our leg day, there was this very, very skinny and frail, like pinky-sized version of a, I can't even say a woman, a girl that walked into the gym and wasn't really doing any weights. And Alan and I had a conversation about that later and he had said something like, I'm so grateful that I have such a, it wasn't a muscle mommy, but I'm so grateful that you're so muscular because something like that. He's like, because it's like, it makes me so sad that that woman, like, I'm like, I just want to give her a cheeseburger. Like she needs to eat. She obviously has, you know, some stuff going on. And we were talking about, and that's my obviously aggressive way of just solve the problem. Right. But he and I were having this deeper conversation about she is unwell and that is to so many people, a stick figure that is obviously, she's literally like emancipated. She, she's so tiny, emaciated. Sorry. Totally different word. Thank you. Thinking about that cheeseburger. Just kidding. I don't, I don't like cheeseburgers. I love cows. Okay. I wanted to help her at the root of what she was struggling with. And that's what he and I shared in and said, it's just so sad because most people would look at someone like that and, and be like, celebrating her for how she's withering away to nothing. And I see her trajectory and it's not good. It really isn't. And your body is a representation of your mind in many ways. And she obviously doesn't have anyone in her life that knows that that level of skinny is actually really detrimental for her long term health.

Bianca Thomas
(12:31) quick I'm sorry I don't mean to cut you off but like and or there's no one in her life that is helping her with her mental health if this girl is life that's trying to help bring support so that and recover

Bree
(13:02) Hello, my name is Bree, and I would say my experience at Evolve has been absolutely amazing. I have learned and grown and done so many things that I didn't imagine that I'd be doing just over a year ago. I encourage anyone who has the opportunity to join. Yeah, so this is an experience that I don't think I would have gotten anywhere else. So it's definitely unique, and there's so many like-minded people in our community that can be by your side and support you. So that is an awesome experience.

Emilia Smith
(13:37) our drive back from that. Just thinking to myself as a leader, as a woman who has insane muscle mass and looking back at those videos, it's going to be really cool to see how much, how many quote unquote gains I really have had. And while yes, that's really difficult in this box of society that women have to quote unquote live in like that we've just totally shattered. It made me just wonder like, what could I do for a woman like that to try to encourage her to work on her mental health because her body is really obviously struggling as a result of that. And I'm still, you know, this is literally fresh off today, but to the topic that we're talking about, that happens all the time. There are people that are experiencing so many different challenges with their fitness as a result of the mental state that they either didn't acknowledge for a really long time. And that led to some really maladaptive coping behaviors like let's say for example, an eating disorder or maybe binge eating or, you know, alcoholism or smoking or, you know, it comes out in so many different ways. And so we end up quote unquote, torching our body or not helping our body through that. And then it becomes this vicious cycle of I hate my body or I hate my wife. And then we try to go on our own fitness journey. And what have we done? We've essentially pulled the rug out from underneath ourselves. And in that fitness journey, have done the opposite of building self belief. We've built self doubt. We've eroded our own self trust and we've eroded our body with it. And so I understand my fitness can be so scary from so many different dynamics. And I always just to kind of close this to make sure that anyone listening gets the both both under the spectrum of you and I, I always I've always been an athlete. I adore sport and specifically sport for the high performance elements of it. For me, it was always I. I had a big gluteus maximus since I was really, really young. And why share that is because it was actually really difficult for me to run. So I had to learn how to run. And I like I was like Forrest Gump. It was actually really embarrassing. And like I didn't know how to run. So in that journey, I had to learn to work with my body that was very different than the other girls that I was working like running with and kindergarten. And so I had to learn how to run so that I could work with my body rather than against the momentum that it brought me in. And that led to this whole process of mastering my breath, my form, going towards the hard as opposed to running away from it, trying to develop my own sense of grit, of Sisu, of agency. And that was really, really big. It gave me freedom in so many ways. And so the gamification turned into very much therapy, honestly, for me. And that's where in a way to be able to sharpen my mind, it was to also sharpen my body. And I saw those as two things that go hand in hand. And so when you and I met in Muay Thai, it was I was yes, on my way to becoming a assassin. But it was not kidding. It was on my way to make sure that I could weaponize my body if I needed to out of just sheer self defense, given some of the crap that I had gone through and anticipate in the future. But it was also scary in certain ways because the fears that I had brought me right up against some of the challenges that someone like me who has that trajectory come up against, which we could go into so many of those. But what I want to share for the listeners is that there's no one human being that hasn't had some degree of a challenge with their own fitness because it connects to every other area of our life. In order to be fit, we need to get great sleep. We need to be able to eat well. We need to be able to control our mind, our thoughts, and therefore our behavior and our body movements. We need to be able to have that feedback loop of what is fitness mean to us. What is the value that is around that? What is our inherent value? Do we even deserve to go out for a walk today or is work more important? So it hits every element of our identities, our self-worth, our self-belief, and all of the areas that comprise our mental health. And it's a really important journey to be on in any way that feels aligned for you. Like I said at the very beginning, whether it's hiking, fencing, horseback riding, golfing, whatever, do something to have your own journey of fitness. Whatever that is for you because you're always going to be better off from a mental health perspective, challenging your body, getting it in the "gym of choice." And if I can encourage you, build some freaking muscle mass. Male and female. 100%, yep. You're not big enough. Yeah, it's nearly. Tossing. Yes. Yes, feels so good. Facts, so facts. I honestly, I can't picture my life without fitness. I know, I like literally, I can't picture without being physically fit. It like terrifies me. My scary right now, yeah, my scary right now is not, my god, actually. I just had an intrusive thought. This was a dream I had the other night. I can't believe I just remembered it. My god, it had to do with my heart not being able to keep up with running out of, I think, a burning house or something with Tucker Tilly and Tao and Alan. Yeah, and someone was chasing after us. And my fear was around my heart not being in a cardiovascular place to where my VO2 max goal of this year is above 45.

(23:22) (Laugh)

Emilia Smith
(23:24) That's my dream just working for me of like, hey girl, get your shit together, right? My scary is not being able to reach my goals. I'm not setting future Emilia and future Emilia's kids and future Emilia's people who get inspired by future Emilia, not setting that up for their own encouragement. And so things like that, it's scary. It might be entry point scary. It might be fear of creating an injury scary or re injuring yourself scary and that's valid too. It might be a fear of not wanting to lose any muscle mass. I have a lot of clients that are in their 50s and 60s right now and they're scary is losing eyesight or stabilization. And so fitness isn't just in your 20s and 30s that type of journey. I have another client that's coming to mind and she's doing Hyrox competitions and she's scared of not belonging with her friends because her friends are not athletically driven. So there's a whole plethora of what fitness and what it means can be and is scary. And I love what you said Bianca to close this episode for anyone that's joining us here, do the hard thing, do the scary thing. And to what you mentioned, it's all about what that means though. And I will remind everyone that we have the pen of our story of what fitness means and what fitness meant to me back then it's evolved since. And if I didn't have other people that loved and valued fitness while also being able to hold their definition, it would be such a different journey. Like I like love seeing that group doing their own version of fitness and it just encourages me to sink into my version. And I love seeing the pictures of you and you crushing fitness, especially after so much of a back injury. And like, I love just seeing so much of that movement. And when we can move together, which is the hashtag that we have, hashtag team evolve moves, we can improve our mental health together. So for all you, Fiddy Biddy's out there, we welcome you to the community. For all you, muscular mommies, muscular daddies, maybe you don't have muscle. That's all good. We can help you build it for anyone who loves some yoga dancing. I don't know, silent disco that that came to mind recently, you know, so. So anyways, with that being said, just get on your own fitness train. That's all I'll leave you with. Bianca.

Bianca Thomas
(26:08) VO2 max right now

Emilia Smith
(26:10) It is 36 right now.

Bianca Thomas
(26:12) goddamn

Emilia Smith
(26:15) Why? It's okay. That's it's not going to stay that way. True or false?

Bianca Thomas
(26:19) hell no i want to compete with you and see who can get it higher but for the end of the year that's why i was asking

Emilia Smith
(26:24) 45. What are you at right now? Tell me.

Bianca Thomas
(26:27) 31.2

Emilia Smith
(26:29) Okay. Well, okay. Yes. But if you put it in the context of the fact that you haven't ran for like ever, now all of a sudden you're starting to. Yeah, literally. Good for you. Good for us. thank you yeah

Bianca Thomas
(26:47) cool

Emilia Smith
(26:47) Fun.

Bianca Thomas
(26:48) fitness can also be competitive

Emilia Smith
(26:50) Hey.

Bianca Thomas
(26:52) my episode suggestion for today if you liked this one 474 why poor decisions get all the hype there's a sad reality i'm gonna say it people celebrate bullshit more than they celebrate when people make good choices

Emilia Smith
(27:15) Hmm. Woof.

Bianca Thomas
(27:16) very few people are going to celebrate you for being consistent in your fitness journey they will in the beginning and then when you start surpassing them

Emilia Smith
(27:24) Yeah.

Bianca Thomas
(27:26) they get pissed

Emilia Smith
(27:32) Brutal.

Bianca Thomas
(27:32) and you still get all the benefits from it so

Emilia Smith
(27:36) Backs.

Bianca Thomas
(27:37) decisions get all the hype 474 check that episode out

Emilia Smith
(27:42) it out while you're in there. The show notes has an invitation for you. July 23rd mark your calendars. Evolve group coaching is going to officially launch and we are literally I think two weeks out from that. So do not wait. Yeah, it's literally if you're hearing this on the Thursday that this episode launches, you are almost screwed and you're going to miss out. So click that link be a part of that. It's a once in a lifetime moment because there's never two groups that are the same and

(28:22) (Music)

Emilia Smith
(28:35) We know firsthand how important it is to have a safe space with people who support and celebrate your evolution. That's why we created our free live virtual event called Out of the Mud that we host the last Wednesday of every single month, 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time so that while you venture into new territories of your growth, you can get in a room with others who are too. Extraordinary topics with evolved people. That's what this event is all about. What's great too is that you don't even need to have your camera or mic on. You can just listen in. Click the link in the show notes to register for the next topic to kick start your growth.

Bianca Thomas
(29:13) Be on the lookout for our IG lives that we host every Friday at 12.30 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. This is a place where you can connect with us live and in a fun, lighthearted way. We are also in the process of rolling out group coaching and online courses, and these are sure to help you evolve into a greater version of yourself.

Emilia Smith
(29:35) If this episode resonated with you or you heard something you know will help you evolve, please share it with someone you love and care about, team members across the world or someone who you believe deeply could benefit from joining this discussion.

Bianca Thomas
(29:49) This content is intended for information purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional counseling or psychotherapy, medical advice, diagnoses or treatment and does not constitute medical or other professional advice. Names and identifiable personal details mentioned in respective podcast episodes and stories may have been changed to protect personal privacy and identity.