#498 | What Makes Someone "Deserving" Of Therapy?

Have you ever felt like your pain was not serious enough to deserve support?

In this episode, we get honest about the quiet beliefs that make so many people question whether they are allowed to ask for help at all. We look at how self-worth, emotional pain, and the stories people carry can make healing feel farther away than it really is.

This one is for anyone who has minimized what they are holding, compared their struggle to someone else’s, or started to believe that needing help means something is wrong with them. Stay with us through this one, and notice what begins to shift when you stop acting like your pain has to earn its place.

Episode References:
Couples Who Get Fit Together, Stay Together (213)
Is Health a Priority in Your Relationship? (214)

Here’s a related episode that builds on today’s conversation:
#436 | How to Heal When You Don't Have Support - https://apple.co/4r0TTw1

Learn more about:
🤝 Out of the Mud (OOTM) - "Why You Keep Second-Guessing Yourself" - https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/IykObX8eR7ixJaQ-qqZogw#/registration

📽️ Insightful films. Meaningful growth. Join our Evolve Movie Club - https://forms.gle/bBZUbFEeD2ijypCT7

🌱 The #YouDoYou Therapy Program gives you support when and how you need it. No pressure. Just real help. Start your free 7-day trial today - https://buy.stripe.com/fZe8Avdfx8bW9gcfZc

_________________

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Show notes:
(2:12) Why therapy can feel off-limits
(4:47) What not taking up space reveals
(9:55) Why does some pain get minimized
(14:40) How healing changes the people around you
(19:08) JC talks about the Evolve Ventures community, where she can be authentic and have meaningful conversations.
(19:56) Why therapy is not only crisis care
(31:57) Reframing therapy as a tool for life
(35:18) Outro

***Leave them a 5-star review if you felt their energy, became inspired, or felt as though the value was added to your life in your EVOLUTION.

(Stay tuned for this coming Monday’s episode!)

Transcript

Bianca Thomas

(0:00) This idea that you have to be deserving of therapy, I don't understand where it came from, but we're going to unpack it.

Emilia Smith

(0:12) And what if therapy was instead reframed as one of the greatest tools life can offer you?

Bianca Thomas

(0:22) Most of us are looking for hope, answers to the madness, certainty that we'll be okay, and someone safe to help guide us through the most challenging parts of our lives. (0:33) In a world that's changing and evolving every single day, where chaos, uncertainty, and cycles we never chose wreak havoc on our lives, it's easy to feel lost, hopeless, and scared of what the future will hold.

Emilia Smith

(0:49) Evolve Ventures is here to provide that hope, direction, and data-driven strategies to growth-minded human beings just like you every Monday and Thursdays, where each new episode is filled with vulnerable stories, interesting lessons, and simple tools you can use that will help you evolve into the person you were always meant to be.

Bianca Thomas

(1:11) My name's Emilia. (1:12) And I'm Bianca.

Emilia Smith

(1:13) And as the co-founders of Evolve Ventures, we are so grateful to be a part of your evolution. (1:18) Let's get into it. (1:20) Hey everybody, it's Bianca.(1:22) Welcome back, Evolvers. (1:23) It's Emilia for episode 498. (1:28) What makes someone deserving of therapy?(1:33) For those of you who are listening on straight audio and not video, I did the air quotes around deserving. (1:41) And we're going to get into this episode. (1:43) And if you're someone that has been feeling this way, maybe you're not feeling deserving of therapy.(1:49) It is our hope, our intention, at least from my understanding, to make sure that we level set that. (1:57) Because therapy, we believe, is a spot, is a tool, is a safe space, and should be a safe space for everyone to be able to access.

Bianca Thomas

(2:12) So before we dove into this, because I did the suggestion for this episode. (2:18) So Emilia looks at the title and goes, why wouldn't someone be deserving of therapy? (2:24) She's like, wait, what was the, what was the question you asked?

Emilia Smith

(2:27) I'm confused. (2:29) Why, like, what, why would someone not feel deserving of therapy? (2:34) Like, I think that that was the bigger question that I had asked.

Emilia Smith

(2:37) Yeah.

Emilia Smith

(2:38) Yeah.

Bianca Thomas

(2:39) I have been told by so many clients that they do not feel as though they are deserving of therapy. (2:52) And I'm going to use their exact words. (2:56) So if you have children in the room, you might want to like, pause this or whatever.(3:01) They said, I have not been brutally raped. (3:05) I have not been held against my will. (3:09) There's other people that have been through horrific things like genocide.(3:16) So who the hell am I to complain about my life when number one, my problems are my own fault anyways. (3:25) And number two, I'm just kind of a weak, terrible person. (3:30) So like, why should I get to be in therapy?(3:33) Like, I don't deserve to be in therapy. (3:36) Other people have it worse. (3:39) And my jaw hit the floor because I am vehemently someone who believes that every single person should have a therapist the same way that every single person should have a doctor, the same way that every single person should have a dentist and go get their teeth cleaned.(3:59) Every single person should have a therapist. (4:02) So to hear someone say, my problems aren't real. (4:07) My problems are not significant.(4:10) I'm a bad and or weak human being for even needing to be here. (4:17) It truly broke my heart more than anything. (4:20) It broke my heart.(4:23) You said something after I had kind of given you the like spiel a little bit of what people's thought process were around this. (4:34) Can you repeat what you said?

Emilia Smith

(4:37) I'm blanking on what I said, but I just I don't understand it. (4:43) It also breaks my heart. (4:45) Like what?

Bianca Thomas

(4:47) You said that is like a telltale sign of someone who believes that they don't deserve to take up space. (4:54) Oh, yeah.

Emilia Smith

(4:54) Yeah. (4:55) Yeah. (4:56) Can you explain that?(4:58) Yeah. (4:58) So when I said it's a telltale sign of someone that doesn't believe they deserve to take up space, essentially what I mean is that to convince yourself of a narrative that.

Emilia Smith

(5:14) What what is like.

Emilia Smith

(5:17) Throughout history has been a critical cornerstone to help humans cope with what humans go through, in other words, therapy or therapeutic interventions, therapeutic and like practices. (5:30) If if you're looking at the therapy room, virtual or in person or being in the seat. (5:39) Getting help and support, then that tells me that you have literally been beaten down so much that you hold a belief you don't deserve to take up space, which just makes me so sad.(5:52) It is devastating because essentially that logic leads you to believe that something anything, quite frankly.

Emilia Smith

(6:01) And anyone who has experienced something gets to, but you don't.

Emilia Smith

(6:08) And so what that leads to is this deeper concerning root of belief systems about yourself, which is I don't deserve to get help when I struggle. (6:21) When I need help, which is like from my perspective, it's a disconnecting from what it means to be human and what. (6:30) Lindsay, Dr. Lindsay Gibson in Adult Children of Emotionally (6:36) Mature Immature Parents, she writes on that topic a lot and she has what is known as like a bill of (6:43) rights, which is very much if you're someone who has experienced emotional neglect or you've (6:49) experienced you've had emotionally immature parents, which is like what I'm finding is the (6:54) large majority of us have incredibly immature parents, but on the emotional front, you end up (7:02) having this belief embedded within you that your needs are less important in a nutshell than (7:11) everyone else's.(7:12) In other words, like taking up space is not safe and is actually a threat to your survival. (7:17) So don't even don't even bother thinking about taking up space. (7:20) And her bill of rights is this proclamation to reclaim the fact that like you are a human being and a fundamental human being right is to take up space is to be able to have.(7:36) Help and get help and have access to help like that is it's like the the air we breathe, right, like that's like a basic right we have. (7:45) And so when we think about that belief to take up space or like you don't if you don't believe you're deserving of therapy.

Emilia Smith

(7:54) What that maps to in my mind is that somewhere in your history, someone unconsciously or verbally indirectly told you that you don't deserve to take up space, which is just not true.

Emilia Smith

(8:17) But it feels true to every single bit and part of your being. (8:21) And that's what prevents like that's when we talk about like trauma that happens or little experiences that we have even before we're verbal sometimes, right, how that impacts us down the line. (8:34) Like if you're someone that hasn't gotten therapy and you're 40 years old or you're 50 years old or you're 30 whatever like you haven't been in the seat of that safe space.(8:45) Like that's a problem because every human being has challenges. (8:52) Every single being has difficulty coping with life experiences. (8:56) Every single being needs someone to help them through tough times.(9:02) And therapy is one tool that has so much breadth and depth that is there for you. (9:14) Like literally its essence, its core is designed for human beings because of the fact that we all suffer.

Emilia Smith

(9:22) We all have challenges. (9:23) We all have wounding, right, like yeah, that's what I mean. (9:31) The majority of the clients that say things like that to me also will apologize for having problems.

Bianca Thomas

(9:40) They apologize for having struggles. (9:46) Many of them say, I know you have clients that are worse off than me. (9:49) Like I feel like I'm taking a seat from somebody so on and so forth.(9:55) It really leads to the question like what suffering is, why do we deem some suffering worthwhile and other suffering not?

Emilia Smith

(10:16) Right, right.

Bianca Thomas

(10:17) So just because someone had it worse, why does that mean that that is appropriate to be sad about but another type of suffering is not? (10:31) And then that leads to the narratives, experiences, the messages that we heard growing up, the messages that we hear from society. (10:41) Like I have a client who's a man and he's like, men are not supposed to have problems.(10:48) You're supposed to take it on the chin, deal with it yourself. (10:52) And if you have to ask for help, you're weak and you deserve to not be alive. (10:57) Like those are the messages that people are being taught.(11:00) And then we wonder why these challenges are perpetuating over and over and over again. (11:11) Okay. (11:14) Just because somebody else has had it worse doesn't mean that you are not deserving of navigating your life and making your life better.(11:26) That's like, just because some random person on the street doesn't have access to food, I shouldn't eat. (11:32) It's like, why not? (11:35) And I think it has to do with this zero sum mindset that we have of if someone else has, I don't have.(11:42) If someone else has access, I do not have access. (11:45) And that really distorted narrative in some of the other episodes that we've been talking about, about like an easy life and why people don't go after their dreams and self-belief and all of these things. (11:57) We have this really pervasive mindset based on these messages that we're hearing in the media of like these quote unquote haves and have nots.(12:06) And I think it is so unbelievably destructive and harmful just because you get therapy does not mean that you're taking it away from somebody else. (12:20) It means that you are doing your part to make your life better, and then you can help other people make their life better. (12:30) You can be a wonderful person for the people in your life who will benefit from you being that wonderful person.(12:37) And you know what? (12:38) You get to benefit from you being a wonderful person, which goodness forbid we ever do something that's just for us, even if it doesn't benefit somebody else. (12:48) You selfish dadadadadada.(12:50) I clearly do not believe that that's facetious.

Emilia Smith

(12:53) But the point stands.

Emilia Smith

(12:59) Ellen and I did an episode on the Conscious Couples podcast recently about getting fit together and like couples who get fit together stay together. (13:09) And then we did we did like a part two of that because we're just so passionate. (13:12) And I had shared in that episode something that I want to bring into this episode, because Ellen had shared about how he had a partner that at one point and just for new listeners, Ellen's my partner.(13:25) She had a partner in the past who, because he was really into fitness and she wasn't, she used to feel like him going and getting more fit and honing in on his macros and meal prep and all the things that he did, focus on getting better sleep and supplementation and all these things, right? (13:43) The fundamentals that he focused on because he valued fitness. (13:49) She would say that it would take away from their relationship.(13:51) And what I had said in hearing that in that episode, which I'll have the production team link down in the show notes, is that like there's no world where you getting healthier is is going to not help the relationship and everyone that you connect with. (14:09) Like there's studies now show that like we have a profound influence on people. (14:16) And so us getting healthier is going to inherently have a positive ripple effect on other people getting healthier.(14:21) And just like, you know, we just human beings are so socially driven. (14:26) And why I bring that into this is because therapy and going to therapy, I feel like people have, and I've heard actually a very similar mindset of like you going to therapy is going to negatively impact this or is going to take away from this. (14:40) And what I'm hearing for like individuals who struggle with this narrative of not feeling deserving of that, likely that's from the people who benefit by you having no interpersonal skills, you having no sense of self, you having no sense of boundaries and values, you being a shell of yourself.(14:57) And so anyone that's on that fence that has convinced you of that narrative to where you don't feel deserving of therapy, it's the same parallel that I see because there's no version of you getting into therapy as a practice, right? (15:13) As a focal point, as a routine, because every single, and again, I understand that not every therapist is amazing, so I understand that. (15:24) I hold that in the kind of railing over here.(15:28) But for the most part, when you get into a therapeutic setting and a therapeutic engagement, you're building skills. (15:34) You are building like one of the most biggest skills that you can build when it comes to a therapy setting is affect regulation and affect control, meaning when you have an emotional or like a body arousal state, how do you navigate that? (15:53) How do you not take over, have your body and your emotions and your behaviors kind of take over what you say, think, and do in your relationships with others?(16:01) When you focus in a therapy setting on you, you're developing skill sets in a therapy room to be able to work on things that, trust me, if you don't have a therapist, you're not working on. (16:13) It's a big red flag for me if someone doesn't have a therapist. (16:16) And I've been speaking with so many individuals as of late, and so I've been kind of sussing this out on people's radar, Bianca, like whether it become like people that are consciously dating, right?(16:28) They're conscious singles and trying to figure out like who is who in the marketplace, or it's someone that is literally in corporate America and are talking to their colleagues. (16:38) Like if someone doesn't have a therapist, that is a red flag. (16:42) Why?(16:43) Because they are not just bar none focusing in on how to become a better version of themselves. (16:48) That's what therapy is right now, granted, depending on your therapeutic interventions, where you go, what you do, what type of modalities your therapist practice. (16:57) But I thought it was fascinating to hear that.(17:01) That's my own personal belief, but hear that in other people to where if you are not (17:06) getting yourself in therapy, that's a red flag because this pervasive belief that I'm not (17:11) deserving of taking up space, I'm not deserving of focusing on skills that are going to make me (17:15) better, which are going to inherently get better, like that's going to positively ripple effect into (17:21) the world that I walk in and walk through. (17:24) That's a red flag.(17:25) So for anyone that is listening to this and really considering that belief, I would also ask you to consider what is that belief taking away from? (17:38) And I honestly, Bianca, I don't think people know enough about therapy and the skill sets that people can gain while in therapy to where this belief can kind of just hang out in the consciousness of them. (17:54) So I want to ask you a question, because I think it's really important for this dialogue.(17:58) For people who hold the belief that I'm not deserving of therapy, can you enlighten us? (18:03) And obviously we know from your specialty, cognitive behavioral therapy, that's one of the most powerful modalities that does exist currently when it comes to therapy interventions and modalities. (18:17) If it's done well, yeah.(18:18) If it's done well, for sure. (18:20) And with a trauma-informed lens and trauma sensitivity, right? (18:24) And, you know, you're not just practicing or you're not just practicing in a therapeutic room just based off of theory, like you're actually also practicing it in your own life, right?(18:33) So you're a practitioner in life. (18:34) But what are some of the skills that people are leaving on the table when they allow themselves to sit and truly believe that they are undeserving of therapy? (18:48) What are they leaving on the table in terms of skills that they're going to develop that the people that they love and care about are inherently going to benefit from because they went to therapy and they stuck with therapy and they got a therapist and they decided to prove evidence to the contrary of this belief?(19:06) What have you seen with clients?

JC DaCosta

(19:08) Hi, everyone. (19:09) My name is JC DaCosta, and I just wanted to tell you a little bit about Evolve Ventures and to let you know that it is a community where you can be your authentic self. (19:20) I personally have experienced a place where I can tell my story and know that I'll find somebody who has shared a similar experience.(19:31) It's a community of empathy, of leadership, of growth, of opportunity and budding and growing leaders who have a voice. (19:42) And it's a forum and a platform for all of this meaningful conversation. (19:49) So I am grateful for Evolve Ventures and its leadership.(19:53) And thank you so much for listening to my spot. (19:55) Take care.

Bianca Thomas

(19:56) I think this speaks to the substantial challenge that we have that we think that therapy is only for people who have severe problems. (20:08) That you only go to therapy if there is this massive problem in your life that you on your own accord cannot solve and that you need external help and guidance to be able to fix for you. (20:22) Now, it's understandable where that narrative came from due to the origins of therapy, where it was like you were either institutionalized because you were so incapable of navigating humanity on a quote-unquote normal level that you needed to be locked up in a hospital away from other people.(20:45) Like one flew over the cuckoo's nest, like wildness.

Emilia Smith

(20:50) But that's also the white colonization during industrial.

Bianca Thomas

(20:54) No, 100 percent. (20:55) But that's what people are referencing. (20:58) People aren't thinking shamans and priests.

Emilia Smith

(21:01) Indigenous cultures and so many different.

Bianca Thomas

(21:03) Exactly. (21:04) Where these tribes were actually utilizing the elders and the other wise people in their community to gain insight. (21:11) So you have one flew over the cuckoo's nest in one end, or like girl interrupted, where they're like banging themselves in the head, like doing crazy stuff.(21:22) Or you have Freudian psychoanalysis, where it was all of these like housewives who couldn't get their lives together, laying on the couch, having some like predatory man telling them like, oh, it's because you want to have sex with your father. (21:41) That's why you're like upset. (21:42) It's like, um, no, I'm like, I'm like being assaulted at home and like you're not seeing it because they didn't believe in that.(21:53) So like you have these two wild understandings and wild ends of the spectrum of what the purpose of therapy is for. (22:03) So, of course, if that is your reference group, it makes sense that you are then going to have the narrative. (22:10) Well, I am taking it away from somebody else because that's not my experience.(22:15) Now, I think this also goes into the ideas that we have about what it means to be a human, where we are taught and we're going to be doing an episode on this. (22:25) It's a little bit different than what I'm about to say, but we're going to be doing an episode. (22:28) It's called why dating in the modern age can feel impossible.(22:32) And it was based on a Huffington Post article that a client of mine sent where it was a, the, the author of the article pulled a bunch of different, um, subreddits from a, from a post that she had put talking to men about why they've struggled in dating. (22:56) And it, it broke my heart seeing what these poor men said in, in the, in this Reddit thread. (23:06) So is this also ties into these ideas that we have about what it means to be a human men shouldn't cry.(23:15) Don't be weak. (23:16) Don't be, I'm going to use foul language. (23:18) So please bear with me.(23:19) If you have children in the room, don't be a pussy. (23:22) Don't be a little bitch. (23:23) Don't be a faggot.(23:24) Don't be all of this stuff for women. (23:27) Don't get your panties in a bunch. (23:28) Don't be this, don't be that.(23:30) We have these really destructive narratives about what it means to ask for help. (23:37) And in that thread, what a lot of these guys said was women want the idea of a vulnerable man, but they don't actually want him to be vulnerable. (23:47) If you're not six foot two with a massive penis and a large income and all of these crazy things, we don't want you.(23:55) You're not a man. (23:56) So, and for women, there's our own stereotypes of what we have to be. (24:03) So you have to be completely self-sufficient.(24:06) You can't ever rely on anybody else. (24:08) You're a terrible human being. (24:10) If you ever have to ask for help, yeah, of course, you're not going to want to go to therapy.(24:15) Of course, then you're going to be sitting there and it's like, uh, is it okay that I'm here? (24:22) Like, are you going to like tar and feather me for coming here? (24:27) It's terrifying.(24:29) Now to your question, if that is the premise by which you are living your life, it makes sense why therapy feels like this terrible, horrific, fearful thing that you should not do. (24:42) But that's like saying, unless you're morbidly obese, you shouldn't go to the gym and you should never hire a trainer and you shouldn't get fit.

Emilia Smith

(24:51) It's not only unless you're morbidly obese, it's unless you've had a heart attack and are on your deathbed of the morbid obesity implications of said thing, then, okay, the door's open for you. (25:04) Right.

Bianca Thomas

(25:05) So like, and only if someone else did it to you. (25:08) So like your mouth was wide open and they stuffed the food down your throat and you had no say because your hands and your legs were tied and like you had no control over it. (25:17) So it's like, if it's my fault, then I'm a terrible person and I shouldn't seek help.(25:21) Yeah. (25:22) How is anyone going to get help if that's the case? (25:24) So the reason I say all of this is because what you're missing out on is the same thing that someone would miss out on by not going to the gym.(25:34) Even if they're an average weight, average body type, you cannot get mentally and emotionally fit for life. (25:42) Just like going to the gym. (25:44) It's not just to not be fat, but when we have an entire culture of human beings who have significant body challenges because they can't develop the grit, the willpower and a lot of, and the emotion regulation and distress tolerance skills to not utilize food as a coping mechanism.(26:02) Yeah. (26:03) Everyone just wants to be skinny, but what everyone, what it would benefit everyone to focus on instead is how can I be the most fit version of myself possible to have the highest quality of life possible? (26:19) Because that I sincerely believe is what every human on this earth deserves the access and the ability to be able to have and do that.(26:31) And so when it comes to therapy, it's the exact same thing. (26:35) You do not just go to therapy because you've been raped or you've had these horrific atrocities done to you. (26:42) You also go to therapy.(26:44) If you don't like the person that you are, if you do like the person you are and you just want to be better and you want to be more skilled and you want to be more competent. (26:55) Now the other side of the coin of this is therapists also need to level up and be more capable of teaching people greater skillsets because unfortunately a lot of therapists, and I've heard horror stories, horror stories. (27:13) I do not believe I am the best therapist in the world.(27:16) I believe that I still have so much to grow and so far to grow. (27:20) I sat with a client today and I literally said, I misguided you two weeks ago. (27:25) I'm so sorry.(27:26) I should have done this, this and this instead. (27:29) And I harmed you because I didn't. (27:32) And I'm so sorry.(27:33) He started crying. (27:35) He's like, Oh my God, thank you so much for like owning that. (27:41) Because other therapists, and there's a lot of them, they just sit there.(27:47) And how does that make you feel?

Emilia Smith

(27:50) It's like, uh, hello.

Bianca Thomas

(27:55) So there has to be like, as a therapist, as a practitioner, you have to be able to equip yourself to help people in a multitude of different areas in a multitude of different ways. (28:08) But if you're not doing that, then you're not going to have the skillsets to be able to help people to be able to be more mentally and emotionally and psychologically fit. (28:20) And then they're going to feel like there's something wrong with them, that they're not getting something good out of therapy because they think that's all therapy is.(28:27) So there's a, there's, I'm trying to look at this from multiple different angles. (28:31) And I know that might be confusing, but like from the, from the person seeking therapy side, you don't just go to therapy because you have problems. (28:42) You go to therapy because you want to be psychologically fit for life, knowing that you can be the greatest version of yourself possible on the therapist side.(28:52) We owe it to ourselves to be able to do it for ourselves. (28:56) And then to be able to teach the clients that are coming to us to be able to do this. (29:02) And I really appreciated what you said, Amelia, where it's not just being a someone who can recite from a textbook.(29:09) It's somebody who's embodying it themselves. (29:13) And the sad reality is that more therapists than not, their lives are a mess, a mess behind the scenes because they're not actually doing the work for themselves. (29:27) So it's, it's a two-sided coin.(29:31) So that is what you're missing. (29:33) And that's what you're on the table by not going to therapy, being the best version of you possible because we all, all of us deserve the chance to find out what that is for ourselves.

Emilia Smith

(29:50) Yeah. (29:50) I love that you said that. (29:51) And I think that you said this before, but I'm just going to highlight it again.(29:55) Not only the best version of ourselves possible in every chapter of our lives, right. (30:02) But on top of that, having the best quality of life and our quality of life is directly impacted to the first thing or impacted by the first thing. (30:11) Right.(30:11) And there for anyone that is curious, there are over between 400 and 500 of different therapeutic modalities, specialized approaches and distinct techniques that are available to you. (30:35) So when I hear like, I genuinely think we're all we don't unless we're like literally in the quote unquote chair, like we don't know this. (30:43) This isn't common knowledge.(30:44) Right. (30:45) So when you think therapy, a lot of people just think talk therapy, but there are so many different types, modalities, distinct techniques about like on the topic of therapy. (30:55) Like I was talking to, I was in a room of individuals that are all, they all have different modalities.(31:03) One of them was an equestrian therapy. (31:05) One of them was an art therapist. (31:07) One of them was a music therapist, like all different somatic therapists, talk therapists, like there's so many different types of modalities and approaches.(31:16) And yet so many of us just gravitate towards the, oh, talk therapy, talk therapy. (31:22) I'm just going to sit there in a room. (31:23) I'm going to have to get that same question.(31:25) Well, how are you feeling? (31:25) No, that's why I love how powerful, like it is so it's such an ancient wisdom. (31:35) It's such an ancient practice.(31:36) Like I said, to be human is to need therapy. (31:39) To need therapy is to be human because we all have similar set of experiences as human beings. (31:46) And yet how we navigate that is through therapeutic interventions, like even something as small as sensory somatic design in your home, right?(31:54) Like there's so much here. (31:57) And I think when you think about it from every human being is deserving of the best version of themselves throughout their entire lives and the highest quality of life, you then can start to reframe the I'm not deserving of this to, like I said at the very beginning, what if therapy was instead reframed as the greatest tool that life can offer? (32:18) If you think about your life and everything within it and how you interact with it and you're like, okay, there's a therapeutic intervention for that.(32:28) Your life becomes this huge adventure and playground to learn what therapeutic modality, intervention, combination. (32:37) My favorite is like on one day, how many different therapeutic interventions can I apply on my day to have the best version of myself that day and to have the highest quality of life that day? (32:49) From everything to the lights that I turn on, the color, like the volume of music, the music choice that I listen to, the physical fitness, the nature therapy that I get.(33:01) There's just an endless, endless possibilities here when it comes to therapy. (33:06) So 400 to 500 different types of approaches. (33:14) That's wild.(33:15) And if that's true and just one of them could be what makes you have a better life and a higher quality of life, imagine what's possible for you when you think about therapy a little bit differently. (33:31) That is a tool. (33:33) It is a human right, right?(33:36) It is in that bill of rights for you to have. (33:39) So let us know if we sold you on that. (33:42) We're not trying to sell you on therapy, but it is truly like we encourage you to reconsider because there have just been so many narratives around this.(33:49) We've mentioned many of them in here. (33:52) And I think it's been botched by a lot of people that will read a textbook, but never practice it. (33:58) So they don't really understand how it's changed someone's life.(34:02) And therapy continues to change my life. (34:05) And I hope that you give it not just one chance, but a continuous chance to positively transform your life. (34:17) So whatever that intervention or modality looks like, keep trying until you find your thing, until you find your right combination.(34:24) And you are deserving, more than deserving of that therapeutic space. (34:31) So that said, if you like this episode, my episode suggestion is 436 how to heal when you don't have support.

Emilia Smith

(34:38) Okay.

Emilia Smith

(34:40) Ditto. (34:41) Well, then, well, then, if you are struggling to feel connected to that sense of deservancy after this and we've listened all the way through, and we still haven't had you connect to that feeling, book on our calendars. (34:58) We have worked with so many different walks of life and we have helped them connect to that actual truth that is buried deep beyond all the belief systems that you have had and totally free.(35:12) We're not going to sell you on anything. (35:13) We just want you to have a sense of deservancy in this because who knows where that might bring you. (35:18) So that being said, thank you.(35:20) If you have listened all the way through, thank you for your continued interest in the holistic science of mental health and mental well-being. (35:26) This is what we love talking about. (35:28) And we are grateful, dear listener, that you have joined us in this journey.(35:31) Let us know how this episode resonated with you on YouTube, in the comment section, wherever you listen to your podcasts. (35:37) We love hearing from our listeners. (35:40) That being said, everybody keep evolving.(35:43) Bye everyone. (35:47) We know firsthand how important it is to have a safe space with people who support and celebrate your evolution. (35:54) That's why we created our free live virtual event called Out of the Mud that we host the last Wednesday of every single month, 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, so that while you venture into new territories of your growth, you can get in a room with others who are too. (36:11) Extraordinary topics with evolved people. (36:14) That's what this event is all about. (36:16) What's great too is that you don't even need to have your camera or mic on.(36:20) You can just listen in. (36:21) Click the link in the show notes to register for the next topic to kickstart your growth.

Bianca Thomas

(36:26) Be on the lookout for our IG lives that we host every Friday at 12 30 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. (36:33) This is a place where you can connect with us live and in a fun, lighthearted way. (36:38) We are also in the process of rolling out group coaching and online courses, and these are sure to help you evolve into a greater version of yourself.

Emilia Smith

(36:48) If this episode resonated with you or you heard something you know will help you evolve, please share it with someone you love and care about, team members across the world, or someone who you believe deeply could benefit from joining this discussion.

Bianca Thomas

(37:02) This content is intended for information purposes only. (37:05) It is not a substitute for professional counseling or psychotherapy, medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment, and does not constitute medical or other professional advice. (37:17) Names and identifiable personal details mentioned in respective podcast episodes and stories may have been changed to protect personal privacy and identity.